Night Shift (1982)

Bill Blazejowski:  "Wait a minute! Why don't they just mix the mayonnaise with the tuna in the can... HOLD THE PHONE! Why don't they just FEED the tuna fish mayonnaise! Call Starkist!"

I'm going to retroactively declare that the Perp Mask was Brilliant Idea #1, and make the idea I'm about to unveil be Brilliant Idea #2.  This will be part of an ongoing series of Brilliant Ideas that will be published as they occur to me (in other words, really infrequently).

After reading this NYT article about the criminal insider trading prosecution now under way against a Massachusetts husband and wife who face up to 10 years in prison on charges that they traded on inside information that Citizens Financial Group would buy Charter One Financial, I had a moment of clarity:  Marital Prisons.

Under my plan, this young couple ( "Shengnan Wang, 29, a former Citizens Bank employee, and her husband, Hai Liu, 31") would not be sent off to random separate prisons if convicted but rather to "marital prison."  This would be a special prison dedicated to simultaneous husband and wife offenders, and they would, of course, share a cell.  I see many efficiencies here:

• save on cell space
• easier for relatives to visit both inmates
• could serve as a significant deterrent to husbands or wives who don't get along well but who are thinking of committing a crime together
• eliminates need for conjugal visits

I'm sure there are many other reasons that this qualifies as a Brilliant Idea--please share them with me if any occur to you.